A new attempt- my inner voice

Emo and Rudy are back again. This time bickering about the recent double stupidity I had done. Ok, so I missed the interactive session- big deal. No, the problem is that in the after sight it does seem like a big deal. “why the hell did you miss it then??” they both scream at me. I hate it when they do this. Join forces and scream at me collectively. ‘I was studying’ I murmur. But very silently. Cuz they know it as well as me how much I had read since the morning that day. “Oho, just look at this. The great physics pioneer was STUDYING at home. Whom are you kidding” Rudy squeals. Ok, so the jibe about physics was a bit too much because everyone knows about my LOVE for physics (to put it sarcastically). Thankfully Emo comes to my rescue this time. “It’s not entirely her fault you know. She did want to go. But when Mam didn’t call she didn’t go” ‘thanks’ I say sourly. “Don’t you use that tone on me girl, this doesn’t mean I have forgiven me for your other stupidity” she fires back. “if you don’t mind dear, lets come back to that point later” Rudy says sweetly. I raise my eyebrow. ‘Dear’. Humph. You should look at the way they fight all the time.

 “So where was i? Ah yes. Why the hell are you moping TWO days after the actual thing happened?? And that too about a thing that is not going to come back”. Unintentionally Rudy hit the nail on its head. It’s NOT going to come back. I almost wept in frustration. “I think I know the reason” Emo piped up. “Arpita came around today and announced all the crap and since then this fool is not able to concentrated on anything accept that. Otherwise weren’t we all blissfully unaware of what happened there?”

Rudy glares at me. I hung my head in shame. I knew what was going on in her head. We very well knew what arpita had said and my ACTUAL reason for moping. But they were kind enough not to mention it and embarrass me. After all they were a part of me. The same thing hurt us all the time. Emo pats my shoulder sympathetically (imaginary of course. Or my inner SOUL can’t touch me!!). “come on. Forget about it. Its not really worth all your pondering and thoughts. You didn’t miss anything. And the thing that’s bothering you, you didn’t really need it. Do you??” I shook my head ‘But….’ I start to speak when rudy interrupts me” ya ya we all know, you are feeling bad and sad and mad and etc etc.. but accept it dear u missed it. End of the story.”

Humph I guess that was the case. However mind wrenching they might be. I always felt light after talking to them. I opened my mouth to thank them but I stopped. They had another thing coming. And if they were going to be bitchy about it then….. actually there was no other option. You had to face what goes on in your head. And Emo(short for emotional part of me) and Rudy(short for the rude and bold part of me) only made it more easier.

I was waiting for them to start on the other big stupidity but they were unusually quite. I peeped up hopefully. They stood smiling hand in hand and said. “Let’s save the rest for another day shall we?”.  ‘Yeah sure’.  I said. Sighing. They saved me the guilt trip at least. But somehow I already felt better. These things seemed trivial to me now. What with the exam tomorrow and talking with my brother, Nirvana bhaiya; I felt light. I will ponder on it later. There were suddenly more important things on my head…. :) :) :)