When her eyes wont lie...
As I sit with my feet outstretched in the
rain, I watch the cold drops of water play on my skin; the very feet that used
to thrum and tap in sync with your husky voice, the very voice that had
whispered loving words into my ears. The shocking coldness of the rain burns
back the cruel reminder of the warmth of your touch; your fingers as they drew
random patterns on my untouched body.
A shiver runs down my spine as I remember
the nights my feet bled dancing only for you, my ears burning with passion to
hear your praise- meaningless words that had meant the world to me. My body had
succumbed to your voice better than it could ever have slaved under a bottle of
brandy...
I jiggle my foot in a complicated spiral,
imagining the lilting tune of non-existent music; the paint of the nails has
worn off just like the cloth of glamour has shed itself from my body, leaving
it cold, ugly...vulnerable. A mere shadow of what I was before, that's what you had left of me.
Anger fiercer than a lightning bolt lit
up my wasted, ugly torso; the irreplaceable glass in my hand shattered into a
million irreparable pieces.
You might remember the first night you
had met me at the bar- standing alone amidst a hundred candles. "You look like an angel", you had said; with my reflection cast in an eerie light on
the incandescent sheen of the surrounding glasses. The resistance in my eyes
had vanished before it had reached my lips; every nerve of mine hummed
electrified as your lips had found mine- the first time you had seen me.
But the next time when your
fate would cross my path again, the rage in my eyes wont vanish before they
reach my hands and ended, on your life...
Revengeful piece ... too dangerous I would say :-)
ReplyDeleteBut yes, you write awesomely well :-)
I also agree upon that, dark and revengeful yesssss, dangerous, what a girl can do when she is this intense, throttle the neck of that man who throttled her
DeleteDangerous it is :D I am glad you like what I write. Thanks for the visit!
DeleteIntense Kirti, ilike.
ReplyDeleteThank you sam!
DeleteBeautiful kirti,
ReplyDeleteevolving as a writer myself, I feel I shouldnt comment!!!!! but your story is very very darkk and beautiful portrayal of that girl, undescribed yet described her beautifully
I am glad I could convey that in so short a piece Ipsi! I am so happy you liked it :)
DeleteOooo intennnnse! :D And you know I LOVE such stories. There is nothing more dangerous that a slighted, enraged woman who suddenly has nothing to lose because of a certain person. And you wrote that wonderfully!
ReplyDeleteI know you do :D
DeleteAnd agreed! Beware of an enraged woman the board must say :D
Thanks a lot :)
Hi Kirti
ReplyDeleteVery intense...Reminds me of a line from XMen that I saw this weekend...'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!' :)
X MEN!!!!!!!! Oh how much I love that comics and the movieee!
DeleteI am soooo glad you quoted that line here... it fits PERFECTLY!
Thanks for the visit Jaish, your comments do make my day :D
An intense, dark tale...Very well written!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sudeshna!
DeleteAll the emotions raging inside, like a volcano waiting to erupt!! A wonderful piece, though I would say not as good as some of your previous ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks DS :) I will try and write something much better next time.
DeletePoignant, intense, dark, wordy... yeah.. this story was all that. Your stories bring out emotion strongly, and that's something I love about them. This was no different. . I felt this was one of your best.
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Leo! best comment I got on this so far! Thank you soooo much :D
DeleteIndeed very intense ,ending it with the bold phrase, 'on your life' explains the emotions therein .
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Madrasi! I am glad the emotions were conveyed :)
DeleteI think everyone else has said whatever needs to be said. This is something you always excel at - creating intensity of feelings.
ReplyDeleteThanks TF!
Delete