Wednesday, June 20, 2012

When her eyes wont lie...


As I sit with my feet outstretched in the rain, I watch the cold drops of water play on my skin; the very feet that used to thrum and tap in sync with your husky voice, the very voice that had whispered loving words into my ears. The shocking coldness of the rain burns back the cruel reminder of the warmth of your touch; your fingers as they drew random patterns on my untouched body.

A shiver runs down my spine as I remember the nights my feet bled dancing only for you, my ears burning with passion to hear your praise- meaningless words that had meant the world to me. My body had succumbed to your voice better than it could ever have slaved under a bottle of brandy...

I jiggle my foot in a complicated spiral, imagining the lilting tune of non-existent music; the paint of the nails has worn off just like the cloth of glamour has shed itself from my body, leaving it cold, ugly...vulnerable. A mere shadow of what I was before, that's what you had left of me.

Anger fiercer than a lightning bolt lit up my wasted, ugly torso; the irreplaceable glass in my hand shattered into a million irreparable pieces.

You might remember the first night you had met me at the bar- standing alone amidst a hundred candles. "You look like an angel", you had said; with my reflection cast in an eerie light on the incandescent sheen of the surrounding glasses. The resistance in my eyes had vanished before it had reached my lips; every nerve of mine hummed electrified as your lips had found mine- the first time you had seen me.

But the next time when your fate would cross my path again, the rage in my eyes wont vanish before they reach my hands and ended, on your life...

21 comments:

  1. Revengeful piece ... too dangerous I would say :-)

    But yes, you write awesomely well :-)

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    1. I also agree upon that, dark and revengeful yesssss, dangerous, what a girl can do when she is this intense, throttle the neck of that man who throttled her

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    2. Dangerous it is :D I am glad you like what I write. Thanks for the visit!

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  2. Beautiful kirti,
    evolving as a writer myself, I feel I shouldnt comment!!!!! but your story is very very darkk and beautiful portrayal of that girl, undescribed yet described her beautifully

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    1. I am glad I could convey that in so short a piece Ipsi! I am so happy you liked it :)

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  3. Oooo intennnnse! :D And you know I LOVE such stories. There is nothing more dangerous that a slighted, enraged woman who suddenly has nothing to lose because of a certain person. And you wrote that wonderfully!

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    1. I know you do :D
      And agreed! Beware of an enraged woman the board must say :D
      Thanks a lot :)

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  4. Hi Kirti

    Very intense...Reminds me of a line from XMen that I saw this weekend...'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!' :)

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    1. X MEN!!!!!!!! Oh how much I love that comics and the movieee!
      I am soooo glad you quoted that line here... it fits PERFECTLY!
      Thanks for the visit Jaish, your comments do make my day :D

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  5. An intense, dark tale...Very well written!

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  6. All the emotions raging inside, like a volcano waiting to erupt!! A wonderful piece, though I would say not as good as some of your previous ones.

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    1. Thanks DS :) I will try and write something much better next time.

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  7. Poignant, intense, dark, wordy... yeah.. this story was all that. Your stories bring out emotion strongly, and that's something I love about them. This was no different. . I felt this was one of your best.

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    1. Thanks a ton Leo! best comment I got on this so far! Thank you soooo much :D

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  8. Indeed very intense ,ending it with the bold phrase, 'on your life' explains the emotions therein .

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    1. Thanks a ton Madrasi! I am glad the emotions were conveyed :)

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  9. I think everyone else has said whatever needs to be said. This is something you always excel at - creating intensity of feelings.

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You read my thoughts. Would love it if you share yours :)