Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Crater

My first haiku?? I have no idea. I wrote this at school with all my friends like "why cant you do it. just give it a try yaar" and... well... i ended writing one... or two :P:P

Would my dreams really
survive; if a crushing crater 
falls from the sky?

This poem was shared at OSI.

5 comments:

  1. A very good first attempt! I never really tried writing a haiku...I never felt like it...someday I know I will and then maybe :P
    But right now...you tell me to write one and it will seem very un-haiku-ish ;)
    Loved this one Kirti!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice try. It is one of the easiest forms I had to learn. You have to go back to basics. The words have to meet the syllabic format of
    5 syllables the first line
    7 syllables the second line (yours was 8)
    5 syllables the last line

    and then worry about meaning, etc...
    ex: would my dreams remain
    if a crushing crater falls?
    crashed, fades away (verb tense though?)
    just a thought, keep at it and you will get better

    Thanks for the visit on my blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks for the suggestions!! i would definitely follow them :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think your dreams are quite safe, Kirti. I don't think craters fall from the sky, they are holes in the ground ;) Nice verse though. Regards the haiku, Lynna already has given you some lovely advice! Keep at it :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Seems like writing a poem in the school is a bad idea. i get all the word meanings jumbled!! thanks for spotting the HUGE error Leo.

    ReplyDelete

You read my thoughts. Would love it if you share yours :)