Whats the matter with me??

I had a weird dream last night... really WEIRD. i mean, i don't usually remember my dreams but somehow, i remembered this one; maybe because i was in a half-sleep state.
i could distinctly remember waking up at 4:30, and peeking at the clock in the dark and screwing my sleep-filled eyes to see the time. I had planned to get up at 5- to study for the P-block test i have today, so i slept for a half-an hour more. and thus- remembered the weird weird dream.
it was very pathetic actually. i had gone(in the dream) to the Rath-Mela(strange that it is starting today itself) with my friends(something we have been planning since the last week) and somehow, the place we went to was an unfamiliar one. after that we had bought all the tickets and stuff to ride the "gaint wheel" when suddenly this guy(i wont take his name, i dont want my blog polluted by it :P ) came and said something to me(that i cant remember now) and it boiled rage within me and i ended up going home without having fun- angry and humiliated.
sounds really weird isnt it?? anyways, i woke up in a really bad mood and i couldnt concentrate on the ENORMOUS reactions of the P-block members and i grew more frustrated.
so im blogging to ease some of that so that i dont end up giving a bad test. its really rude of my subconscious to inflict forcefully the presence of a person im trying so hard to avoid isnt it??
Hey Mr. subconscious, you can be a real pain in the jugular vein sometimes. even at school, i try and make a good job of avoiding these people. and that i day i almost ran into him at the corridor (i ALWAYS bump into someone or the other in that corridor- once it was Pandey sir, the other time it was Kar sir and other innumerable people) but its really unfortunate that i bumped into HIM isnt it??
i mean i had to scrub myself extra hard during bath that day.
Ughhh... What the hell am i blabbering about??? whats the matter with me???
i am supposed to be happy these days. i mean most of my teachers have also noticed that i am a bit too bouncy, and cheerful than normal(mind you, my normal cheeriness isnt that normal too!!) then why am i getting these stupid thoughts and pathetic dreams??
sigh. i badly need a dose of craziness. can you hear that sattu??
God. even i cant make out what i have written in this post. somethings really wrong with me. wish i knew what it was. maybe i have an obsessive THINKING disorder.
i think i should strictly stop here. i am getting depressed with each word and moreover i dont want to lose whatever readers i have with all this weird and boring stuff..

so long-


  1. I dislike most of the people I have to spend my time with (most not all mind you)...so I told myself to start getting used to the awkwardness,irritation,annoyance, etc :P I know you know what I mean

    By the way, is this 'he' the one that I am thinking??? I think you know who I am thinking (oh my god I get so irritatingly confusing don't I?) ok fine I'll stop but do tell me on Tuesday about this!

  2. yeah sure yaar... and im sure u are guessing right... afterall there is only one incident in my life that i regret.. :P

  3. Ah...growing up pains!!!!!

  4. yes Nadira Ji... sometimes it seems like im going crazy... :P


Post a Comment

You read my thoughts. Would love it if you share yours :)